How Can You Bring up Touchy Topics with Your Senior?
August 14, 2018
No matter what your level of caregiving is right now, there are likely some touchy topics, possibly about future events, that your senior isn't excited about talking about with you. But that doesn't mean that those topics just go away.
Caregiver in Redwood City CA: Bringing Up Touchy Topics
Look for an Easy Opening You Can Use.
It's really difficult to bring up topics like your senior's ability to continue to drive or whether she's decided what she wants to do about planning for the end of her life. These are really hard topics that are fraught with emotion. Look for openings that allow you to broach these topics without dropping them like an anvil on your senior's head. Bring up an article that you read or something that a friend said about the same topic. What you're looking for is an opening in the door that you can use.
Infuse Everything You Say with Respect.
Ultimately, your job as your senior's caregiver is to make sure that what she needs and wants is respected. Let her know that you're willing and able to do that, but in order to do so you need to know what it is that she wants. Be as respectful about the topic and the conversation as a whole as you can be.
Get Priorities Identified.
Once you've got some movement in this conversation, you can start to identify and sort priorities. In the case of your elderly family member's ability to drive, that might involve getting her driving skills assessed first, making sure that she's medically able to drive, and enlisting backup drivers for her so that she isn't ever stranded. Some of these items are going to be more important than others, so having a priority list ensures that you're tackling everything with the urgency that each piece requires.
Don't Let Your Senior Resist Forever.
It's natural for your aging adult to want to avoid touchy topics. But you can't let her avoid them forever. Time marches on and the changes that she's experiencing can speed up without much warning. You don't want to make this a horrible conversation for her, of course, but she can't continue to resist having these talks for an indefinite period of time.
These touchy topics don't go away on their own. In fact, some of these are likely to get worse quickly if you and your elderly family member don't get to a consensus. Be persistent but loving.