Three Things Family Caregivers Often Think and Shouldn't Be Ashamed Of
December 6, 2017
You're caring for your parent. Whether your mom has Alzheimer's or your dad had a stroke, taking care of an elderly parent is hard. You often feel alone. You feel incredible guilt for some of the thoughts that cross your mind. You're not the only one in this situation. Here are some of the things family caregivers think that shouldn't cause shame.
Home Care in Belmont CA: Common Caregiver Thoughts
I'm Not Up for This Challenge.
Your mom changed your diapers, kept you clean and fed, and was there when you were hurt. You feel like a failure because you can't imagine changing her adult diapers, spoon feeding her soft foods, or washing her intimate areas in a daily shower.
You shouldn't feel ashamed. Many adults have a hard time imagining caring for a parent in such a personal way. If you think about your mom's feelings, the loss of dignity is just as difficult. Odds are high that she'd rather have a trained professional caring for her bathing and grooming tasks.
It's Not Fair to Me.
Thinking that the situation isn't fair to you doesn't make you selfish. It makes you human. Caring for a parent who is slipping away mentally or physically is emotionally painful. It breaks your heart to see your mom or dad struggling to find the right word. Watching a parent dealing with chronic pain is just as hard. It's okay to be angry that this is happening.
It Would be Easier if Dad Passed Away.
Your dad has Alzheimer's. Every week, the disease advances and robs him of things he used to do with ease. He struggles to remember who you are. He cannot be left alone because he wanders. He becomes frightened by common items like rugs, curtains, and shadows. He's not the man who raised you. You wish he would pass away in his sleep rather than continue to worsen.
If you stop and think about this though, it's not really that you want your dad to die. You just can't imagine seeing him continue to worsen. Alzheimer's is a horrible disease that will eventually take your dad's life. You don't want to see him suffer and that's normal.
You need to have a supportive caregiver to help you through the rough moments. Don't try to do everything on your own. You'll burn out. Home care professionals provide you with the opportunity to walk away, catch your breath, and return refreshed. Call us to discuss the many benefits of taking a break.