How Do You Bring Up Care Decisions With Your Mom?

September 29, 2020

Image for How Do You Bring Up Care Decisions With Your Mom?

Your mom needs help if she's going to stay in her home. You tried to approach her once, but you were met with resistance. You dropped the subject rather than argue. How do you bring up care decisions with her without upsetting her? 
Don't Disregard Her Opinion 
It's most important that you do not disregard your mom's opinion. She's the one who will be receiving help from caregivers or family members, so her opinion matters the most. 
Calmly go over each of her concerns. If she's worried about losing privacy, talk about ways to ensure her privacy is maintained while she has assistance with daily activities. If she's worried that she'll never have time to herself, talk to her about the ability to schedule care services on a schedule she's happy to follow. 
Watch Movies That Show What Elderly Care Services Offer 
Does your mom know what elderly care is like? Find movies that showcase the relationship between a caregiver and family members. It gives her a bit of insight into the friendships that blossom and the fun experiences that are waiting for her and her caregivers. Try these to movies to start. 
The Carer: An aspiring actress becomes a caregiver to an older actor who suffers from Parkinson's disease. 
The Upside: A troubled man struggles to find work after being released from prison. A disabled older man gives him the chance no one else would. 
Involve the Family 
Get the family involved in the discussions. She may be happier if close family members are helping with certain tasks like meals and bill paying. She might be okay having caregivers to clean her home and make her bed each day. If you can find the right balance, it will be easier for her. 
Stick to a List She Agrees With 
Go over the services that she agrees with. Hire caregivers for those tasks. Let her do the things she wants to do. For example, she might feel okay having a caregiver vacuuming, doing the dishes, and dusting. She might not want that caregiver to wash her underwear and other personal items. 
Don't push her into having a caregiver do things that make her uncomfortable. Give her time to acclimate elderly care services and go from there. 
Suggest a Trial Period 
Get your mom to agree to a trial period. Give her a month to try it out and see what she thinks. As she gets used to having help, you'll find she warms up to the idea of having the caregiver there more often and allowing additional services to get added to the care plan. 
Make sure your mom knows that elderly care isn't going to take away her independence. The truth is that having a caregiver helps her avoid common issues older adults face when they start to struggle with daily routines. 
Offer to arrange elderly care for a trial period. Stay by and support her in the first week. See what she thinks. As she adjusts to having someone available to help her with housekeeping, meals, and more, she'll likely tell you she wishes she'd had the help months ago.


If you or your loved one is looking for Elderly Care in Aptos, CA, please call Familiar Surroundings Home Care. 

Santa Clara County: (408) 979-9990  

San Mateo County: (650) 353-9777 

Santa Cruz County: (831) 480-3990 

Tags:Elderly Care Aptos CACare Decisions